by Tony Newman
When I think of Dad the first thing that pops into my head is what a huge lovely friendly heart this beautiful big man had. He had enough for everyone in his life. He had a warm quick-witted sense of humour that never left him.
The personal memories of him get jumbled in my head. There are snaps I remember of him without always remembering the context.
I can remember the first time he let me sit in the passenger seat next to him while he was driving. I can remember the warm feeling it gave me that he thought I was old enough and although I must have only been around 7, I felt like an adult.
I can remember a toy boat that I had and him taking me to a pond in the local park. It started to sink in the middle of the pond and with it my heart also started to sink. Until he took off his shoes, lifted me up with his huge hands and carried me to the middle of the pond so that we could retrieve it.
I can remember the wonderful school holidays I spent with him and Linda in Somerset. Starting at the Westward Guest House in Watchet, then onto the Country Matters gift shop, and then the cottage in Washford.
I can remember the walks I went on with him and our dog, Lady, along the coast.
I can remember when they bought the shop for Country Maters it was just a shell. I went down there one school holiday with my Grandad. Dad and Grandad completely renovated it and I was their “helper”. I loved every second of being in their world in that shop.
As I finished school the long holidays down there got less and would become a long weekend or a week here and there. As you become an adult your relationship changes with your parents.
Childhood memories would fade and adult ones would take over. Dad’s love of ice cream, sausages, cups of teas and wine gums would be matched by his hatred of paying for car parking, heights, and water. There were probably many stories to back all these up but sadly I can’t remember them but just his overall feelings for them. However, saying that, I can remember I’d always bring him a pack of wine gums when I saw him, but can never actually remember him once opening them and sharing them with me! Hmmm. He always scurried off to put them in a “safe place” to enjoy by himself at a later date!
Once I became a father, the warmth of my childhood memories with him come flooding back when I saw him with Amy & Charlie. I could feel the echoes of my childhood as I listened to the funny and daft made-up stories that he used to tell. The warm feeling of watching him constantly making them laugh.
Him singing along to anything in front of them to wait for the “Stop singing Grandad” response from them.
The look of amazement and joy on their faces when he did his magic tricks. Especially Amy’s look of amazement as he “passed the egg through the table” and Charlie’s joy and astonishment of him rolling a coin through his fingers and making it disappear out of one hand and reappearing in the other.
I do have to point out though that as a dad to 5 children, and grandfather to 10 Grandchildren, the fact that he never once changed a nappy is quite astounding! He was a man of a long-ago era or at least that’s one way of putting it!
My last memory of him was of a young nurse finishing her shift and saying goodbye to him. I think both knew what kind of goodbye it was between them. He congratulated her on her exam result, wished her well in her future and thanked her for all that she had done for him. I can remember holding his hand whilst he said this and suddenly his hand seamed huge to mine again. I was once again that little boy he let sit beside him in the car. To me he will always be that huge caring man, full of love & humour, that could carry you off into his world.
Our Dad.
